Self-restraint is a rational desire. If you deprive yourself of anything, it is just a matter of time before you give in to these urges. As humans, we naturally want what we can't have. I myself fall victim to this vicious cycle at least once per month. I can give up just about anything for a month, but eventually cave in and fall victim to these urges. In retrospect, after I have satisfied this urge, I always feel guilty about my inability to control this desire. However, as I said before, deprive yourself of anything and you will eventually give in to these urges. Our brains are hardwired to reward us with deeply satisfying jolts of dopamine (feel good chemicals released in the brain) when we give in to these kinds of urges. This is why, when we give in to these urges, we get that "rush" or "high" feeling. However, this "high" feeling is extremely short lived and is often followed by feelings of guilt and remorse. Remember humans have only a limited amount of willpower; that's why most resolutions do not work.
So what is the Solution?
(1) Make One Change at a Time and be Realistic
Make your New Years resolution realistic. If you have not been to the gym in the past year, do not set a goal to go everyday of the week. This will only lead to failure. A more realistic goal would be to go to the gym 3 times per week for the fist few months. At the end of 3 months, revisit this goal and set new goals (perhaps 5 times per week).
(2) Avoid Making 100 percent resolutions
Give your willpower some wiggle room. Humans want what they can't have. Avoid making absolute restrictions such as, "I am going to give up all sweet" or "I am never going to drink alcohol again". A more practical solution is to make more limited restrictions. Such as, "I will only eat sweets or drink alcohol when I am out in a fancy restaurant." By treating yourself in these situations you will satisfy that urge.
(3) Revisit your Goals daily (Morning & Bedtime)
Remind yourself daily of your goals. If your resolution is eliminate sweets from your diet, you need to remind yourself of this every day. You need to look in the mirror every morning and realize, that at the end of the day, you will be looking in the mirror again, and congratulating yourself on anther successful day of accomplishing your goal. A great strategy to track your resolution is put a calender next to your bed. For every day you accomplish your goal put a star on that day to signify success. At the end of the month, if you have all stars, reward yourself. Avoid "candy/sweet" rewards. Try treating yourself to a new pair of sneakers or new exercise outfit. Remember candy/sweets are short lived and only provide temporary feelings of satisfaction. A new pair of sneakers will last you months!
(4) Avoid the all or nothing principle
Avoid the "go big or go home" principle. If you are going to "treat" yourself or diverge from you resolution, do so in moderation. Do not think that if you have a piece of cake that you need to spend the whole evening bingeing on junk food. It is quite common to loose focus of your goal and fall off track. However, if you fall off the bandwagon, its not the end of the world. You can refocus and get back on track! Do not think because you had one "slip" that your resolution is ruined. A resolution is something that we need to work on daily. It is not intended to be easy. If it were easy everyone would be making resolutions.
(5) Harm Reduction
Reduce the amount of harm that typically occurs from bingeing or indulging. If you feel the urge to indulge and you see yourself falling off the bandwagon, harm reduction can help. Treating yourself when you feel self deprived may be just the fix you need to overcome that urge. After treating yourself, you will loose that self deprived urge, and the damage you have done will be minimal. Your body will not even notice this small treat!
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